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You are here: Home / Work Life / Writing / So much to (un)learn

So much to (un)learn

11 June, 2020 By Joy Adan Leave a Comment

I’ve been sitting with my thoughts for a few days… reading a lot, listening, watching and absorbing. I wasn’t sure how to respond to what is happening around the world and whether I needed to add to the voices already talking about racism and how we, as a global community, must respond. There are a lot of people who are more experienced and educated than I ever will be, and I felt as though I might just be adding noise.

But I realised that I would not have learnt as much as I have over the past couple of weeks or years had others not generously continued to share what they were reading, watching and hearing… and so here are some of those things that others have shared with me recently. It’s not an exhaustive list, just a start – I wanted to link to free resources. I hope it helps you in your journey towards better understanding:

  • Systemic Racism Explained – YouTube (4 min watch)
  • Steve Locke – I Fit the Description (7 min read)
  • Episode 1 – Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man (10 min watch)
  • ‘I can’t breathe!’ Australia must look in the mirror to see our own deaths in custody – The Conversation (5 min read)
  • 10 things you should know about white privilege – NITV (7 min read)
  • Brown eye, blue eye experiment by Jane Elliott – YouTube (51 mins – but worth every minute)
  • Actor Meyne Wyatt delivers a monologue on racism on Q+A (3 mins)

My heart has been heavy and to be honest I was surprised to find myself both physically and mentally exhausted at the end of last week. I am still tired.

I’m not sure why I am so emotionally affected by this — I wouldn’t call myself an activist, so I’m nowhere near as tired as the people who’ve constantly experienced or are at the forefront of fighting racial discrimination and police brutality.

And yet, I’m tired. So tired that when I read headlines and social media posts that are fuelled by ignorance, I burst into tears. For me, this is not a political issue, it’s a humanity issue. I firmly believe in the dignity of all human life from conception to natural death; the innate right to be valued and respected for ones own sake, the right to be treated ethically. Part of me thinks, “How is race still an issue we have to educate people on? Why do people still not understand?”

Talking about racism is hard

I’m realising that it’s especially confronting and uncomfortable for people who don’t have to deal with it on a daily basis, and/or don’t have the language and tools to articulate what they’re experiencing or discovering about themselves and the world around them.

It can be quite alarming to realise there is just so much you don’t know. 

Last year, I was part of a group of writers that launched the book Sweatshop Women Volume 1 at the Sydney Writers Festival. It’s the first Australian anthology written, edited and produced entirely by women of colour, and it was completed through the support of Sweatshop – a literacy movement based in Western Sydney that exists to support Indigenous and culturally and linguistically diverse communities.

Contributing to this book was a hugely educational and confronting experience for me. Before my first workshop, I don’t recall a time I ever really identified myself as or even used the term “person of colour”. Of course, I have brown skin and Asian heritage, but for a whole variety of reasons, I’d always found the descriptors “white”, “black” or “coloured” strangely off-putting… I think it’s because I’ve had experiences where those descriptors were used to divide people or perpetuate stereotypes and I wanted to avoid that. I was raised not to let my ethnicity get in the way of what I felt I could accomplish with my life, so I simply didn’t focus on it. I think it was also partly because I felt the terms were inaccurate because, as far as I understood the world I grew up in, everyone is “coloured”. We’re all just different shades of beige or brown; I’ve never met anyone who is truly white (and don’t even get me started on the term “yellow” — I don’t know a single Asian who looks anything close to a character from The Simpsons). 

But writing with and listening to the stories of these unique women from beautifully diverse backgrounds made me realise that downplaying the significance of my colour (and by extension my culture, ethnicity and heritage) risks diluting it. I lose a bit of myself in that process. In the past, differences have been used to divide and destroy entire civilisations and generations, but today it can be different. It should be different. I have the power to embrace these differences in a way that celebrates and upholds the dignity of each individual. But ignoring our differences does not allow us to celebrate them.

Distinctions and descriptors are necessary, and they can be beautiful and empowering. And so I identify as a person of colour. I understand why it’s important to say Black Lives Matter because as much as I’d love for the world to be different, right now, around the world, black people (including our own Indigenous people here in Australia) are treated like they don’t matter. Race still divides us. And we need to admit that and talk about why and how it does… until race stops dividing us.

Working with and listening to the voices of coloured women taught me to read and write more critically and really consider the power imbalances and privileges that exist in every environment; not just at work, but at home, in my downtime, in my children’s education — everywhere. I used to think I was already conscious of how people of colour have been or are portrayed (or often not portrayed) in the books I read, and the shows and movies I watch, and in the information I consume. Yet, despite being a Filipino-born immigrant, the majority of authors, directors, actors and musicians I devoted my time to growing up were predominantly white and male.

Despite being keenly aware of injustices throughout many a movie screening, job interview, work meeting… I’ve bitten my tongue and moved on.

Shortly after my first Sweatshop workshop, I checked my bookshelves at home and almost every professional development book I’ve devoured in the last decade was written by someone white… most of them were written by a male. I don’t think it’s fair to say that there’s anything inherently wrong with white, male voices, but it is definitely problematic and damaging to have one perspective and experience of the world dominate literature, education and media for centuries.

To truly celebrate our differences, we need to understand and appreciate our differences. That can only happen if we listen to and learn from the people whose perspectives and experiences are different from our own.

It was unsettling to realise this, but that discomfort was the necessary step before growth. I’ve witnessed extreme and unjust bias against certain groups of people, even within that writers’ group, which just goes to show that the journey is never done. The whole experience forces me to check my privileges and critique my own perspective and how these limited things affect my behaviour and biases — things I still need to do on a regular basis. 

I will not leave the room

One of the resources I shared above is a video of Jane Elliott conducting the “Brown Eye Blue Eye” experiment on a group of college students:

About 27:00 minutes into the video, one of the students leaves the experiment in frustration, presumably because she doesn’t like seeing a peer being humiliated and she didn’t like feeling humiliated herself.

This scene struck me because it made me realise something so important: some people have the privilege of “leaving the room” and exiting (or ignoring) the conversation just because it’s hard and hurtful.  As a brown-skinned Asian immigrant, I never thought I had an option to ignore racism, even if I wanted to… but I am afforded other privileges that allow me to turn off the TV, radio or social media and to stop reading, listening, watching or paying attention to this issue and get on with my life. 

But the injustice, pain, physical and mental harm, and destructive behaviour — all of this is a weight that people who are affected by racism must carry, while those who aren’t affected can just “carry on”.

This is the weight that tires and exhausts… until those who are unaffected give space / a voice / a platform / an ear… and then and only then, can we share the weight as a united community… 

Having a meaningful discussion about something that is painful for someone else requires us to take on and feel some of that pain — I think that’s just something that our joined humanity demands of us. To truly understand suffering, we need to lean into that suffering. And that is challenging, because suffering sucks. It’s also distracting. It’s hard to think and learn about this and focus on work.

Like any social justice issue, to truly engage, encourage change, and take on part of the “weight”, we need to continue giving this issue space and time and give ourselves and our friends and family permission and opportunity for that discussion, dialogue, and learning.

I have to do and be better.

I know that part of “doing and being better” means consuming, sharing (and creating) more and more and more stories/experiences that put culturally and linguistically diverse people front and centre. … and inviting people to do the same.

I’m very lucky to have safe spaces where dialogue about this is encouraged and welcomed. I encourage you to seek out or create those safe spaces (outside social media, where it’s too easy to shout people down). 
Keep learning, keep listening, keep sharing. 

Consider this my invitation. You are welcome in this “room”. I hope this has helped you, and that the resources I have shared help you. And if they do, please share them with others.

Digital drawing with shades of brown in the background. Words say: "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. Maya Angelou" © Joy adan 2020

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Joy Adan

I'm Joy. I'm a 30-something, storytelling, coffee-drinking, book-devouring, ocean-obsessed freelance writer, brush lettering enthusiast, speaker and content producer. You'll find some of my stories and art here, along with my advice about attempt at balancing the creative career + family life hustle.

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Ran the first in-person lettering workshop of 2022 Ran the first in-person lettering workshop of 2022 today! So so so blessed to introduce a group of incredible women (and their beautiful kids!) to @findingjoyau and the joy that comes with exercising our creativity. 💕

Oh yes... and I'm moving/switching up my Insta. You'll find me sharing more of my art/lettering/how-tos and all things making and creating over here 👉👉👉 @findingjoyau so give this lady a bit of love (and a follow). 

xoxoxo
Needing rest and recovery is a massive shame trigg Needing rest and recovery is a massive shame trigger for many people, myself included.

I've found this to be especially true within migrant families and communities I've worked with - rest was not an option for lots of people because it was literally a matter of work now to survive, otherwise you die.  

I know that the absence of that "threat to survival" puts me in a very privileged position. I also know that even though the pressure to survive at any cost might be gone, the expectation to overwork and overcommit still weighs heavily and still demands sacrifice - from women especially. Thankfully, I (and many in my generation) have the added privilege of better education - we now know that failure to rest when our bodies and minds need to rest leads to poorer long-term health outcomes.

So a few months ago I turned down opportunities to do amazing work with amazing companies. Instead, I decided to hit "pause" and put my health and my family first. The past 2-3 years have been a bit of a fiasco. I really had to make a call about where to spend my time and energy, and I knew that if I wanted to keep giving my best in anything - work, home or community - I needed time out before taking on new or additional challenges.  

It was (and still is) terrifying, and it took me a good few months to truly "switch off". Once I did I became so grateful that taking a break meant being able to slow down and breathe, to focus on home and health, to enjoy agenda-free days with my kids, to take the foot off the accelerator, to embrace creativity, connection and serving my community... you know, things that too often get chucked on the back burner. 

I share this because I want to normalise people taking a break when they need a break. It might just be a short break in a busy day or week, it might be a career break. Point is... we all need rest, and we should NEVER feel guilty for wanting some downtime or pausing to reprioritise, refocus or recover. 

No one else should get to determine what "success" or "productivity" looks like/means for you. 💕
Impromptu paint workshop with some little visitors Impromptu paint workshop with some little visitors today! Whipped out the watercolours and acrylics after lunch and just enjoyed some down time, playing with colour, experimenting with texture and stamping mint leaves... and discussing the fact pink is not an actual colour according to science (and then had to assure them that pink did still exist... But apparently it is just something our brains made up? What?!). 

Painting really is therapy for me. There's something primal and grounding about the activity that helps me enter a completely different space mentally and emotionally. And so it was nice to be able to offer this as a method of play and recreation (and to experience it myself).

Tip 1: Watercolours are a far less stressful way to introduce paint to little ones - find cheap non-toxic washable paint and don't stress about mixing all your colours - it's part of the fun. Embrace the mess. 
Tip 2: I have been reusing the same blue dollar store table cloth to protect our dining table for 4 years. We wipe it down with paper towels or baby wipes at the end of a painting session, and wrap it all up abd shake it off outside after a play dough session. It's getting a bit holey but it does the job. 
Tip 3: Use a clothes horse to peg up and dry paintings as kids finish them. It's pretty satisfying seeing all their pictures hanging up and shining in the sun.

🌞🖌🎨🙌🏽💕
To the woman wondering if she'll ever get through To the woman wondering if she'll ever get through her to-do list before the end of the day... you are enough. 

To the woman wondering if she's cleaning/working/playing/exercising/cuddling/learning/teaching/disciplining/guiding/supporting/giving/loving as much as she can/should... you are enough.

To the woman who can never keep up with messages and voicemails and always forgets to reply... you are enough. 

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To the woman who is run ragged... you are enough. 

To the woman who knows she shouldn't probably eat that/buy that/say that... you are enough. 

To the woman wondering if she should apply for the job when she doesn't meet all the criteria... you are enough. 

To the woman who wonders if her contribution to her home or her community will ever get the recognition it deserves... you are enough. 

To the woman who is tired of searching for a place where she is respected - not just for what she brings but who she is... you are enough. 

To the woman wishing days like this weren't so exhausting... you are enough. 

To the woman who fears (or has been told) she is intimidating (instead of confident), outspoken (instead of articulate), too soft (instead of empathetic), power-hungry (instead of hard-working), lazy (instead of balanced)... you are enough. 

To the woman wondering what her worth is when so many are seen, recognised, paid and promoted before she is... you are enough. 

To the woman feeling uncertain, afraid, exhausted, frustrated, alone, restless... you are enough. 

To the woman who hopes and works hard for a better world for the future, wondering if we'll ever get there... you are enough. 

The world needs you, whether you're ready for battle or ready for rest. The world needs you, whether you're certain or still seeking. The world needs you as you are, because you are unique and irreplaceable. You are worth celebrating, today and everyday. 

You are enough. 

--- Tag a sister who needs reminding. ❤ xoxo

#iwd2022 #internationalwomensday #sisterhood
Yesterday marked the start of the Lenten season fo Yesterday marked the start of the Lenten season for millions of Catholics around the world. The road to our usual church was blocked yesterday due to floodwater, but thankfully some the rain eased and I could make it to morning Mass today. 

This week the skies are heavy, as are the hearts of many who have lost their homes and their peace - whether due to war or natural disaster. And so I pray. I pray because I know I need to ask for God's grace and mercy - I know I am so small and unable... but when He guides me I can see more clearly where to serve, how to help, where to channel my energy, time and resources... 

When it's all too much and I am unsure, this is the place I can return... knowing that the time I spend in His presence empowers me in a way no human eye can see.

If there is something you would like me to pray for, especially this Lent, let me know (you can shoot me a message too), and I'll bring it to our Father with love. ❤❤

#Lent #Lent2022
Went to Mass this morning after a very restless ni Went to Mass this morning after a very restless night. The Gospel was about a man who had brought his child to the disciples asking them to heal the child from convulsions that would often put him in physical danger. The disciples were unable. Here's part of the the conversation Jesus had with the father: 

"Jesus asked the father, 'How long has this been happening to him?' 

'From childhood,' he replied 'and it has often thrown him into the fire and into the water, in order to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have pity on us and help us.' 

'If you can?' retorted Jesus. 'Everything is possible for anyone who has faith.' 

Immediately the father of the boy cried out, 'I do have faith. Help the little faith I have!'" For the full Gospel, see Mark 9:14-29

Yes, this Gospel is a reminder that anything - and everything - is possible for anyone who has faith. But, as Fr Redmond pointed out this morning, it's also about believing that our faith has the ability and opportunity to grow. Faith isn't a one-off grace or gift we get once. It's a seed that is planted, it is something we can nourish and nurture. It is something that can wane when challenged or ignored. 

Simply put, faith is something we shouldn't take for granted. Faith required prayer, action and desire on our part.

That exclamation from a father desperate to do whatever he can to save his son is a prayer. It is a cry for help to God, asking him to increase and strengthen his faith. "Help the little faith I have!" he pleads. 

O Lord, that I may be humble enough to come to you and request the same when my faith is too small and I put limits on your grace. Help the little faith I have.

ID 1: An open page of a dot grid journal. The words “I have faith. Help the little faith I have” are lettered in pink ink. A pink Pentel Brush Sign Pen lies on an angle in top right corner. 

ID2: A golden tabernacle is in the centre of the frame. On either side are embroidered images from Bible stories.

.

.

.

#FindingJoy #JoyAdanWrites #PursuitOfJoy #PerfectlyImperfect #PracticeMakesProgress #CalledToCreate #CreativePractice #CreativeEntrepreneur #CatholicCreative #BibleLettering #Journal
Consider this permission to slow down. ❤ ID: Op Consider this permission to slow down. ❤

ID: Open page of a notebook with lilac hand-lettering that says “Don't rush to the urgent at the expense of the important”. A lilac @pentel_australia brush sign pen lies on top the page beside the writing.
I reckon this is one of my favourite lines in “S I reckon this is one of my favourite lines in “Surface Pressure”. It's one of many truths in the song, but I love this one in particular because people who know their worth & dignity tend to light up the room. 😉

Meanwhile, we've just ended 1 week of iso.. which we spent listening to the @encantomovie soundtrack on repeat and playing Super Mario and table tennis for hours on end. Thankfully, COVID symptoms were mild and shortlived, the boys maintained good spirits, and I managed to squeeze in painting as down-time over the weekend while everyone else slept. Now to declutter my desk and get back to business.......

ID: An open page dot grid notebook lies on a wooden desk. The left page is painted with blue, gold, brown and green watercolour flowers around the border. In the centre is navy blue lettering, with the words “I move mountains, I move churches, and I glow coz I know what my worth is.”

#ink #handwriting #catholiccreatives #qotd #pentelbrushpen
Flashback to this nugget of wisdom. ❤ Wherever y Flashback to this nugget of wisdom. ❤ Wherever you are, whoever you are, may you rest in the knowledge that not only are you made to love others, you are made to receive and worthy of being loved also. 

Image: Framed image of the quote “Love is, therefore, the fundamental vocation of every human being. - St John Paul II - Familiaris Consortio” lettered in blue foil and sitting on a wooden shelf surrounded by green plants. 

#LoveIs #Vocation #Calling
#StValentinesDay
Have had the best kind of whirlwind week of weddin Have had the best kind of whirlwind week of wedding bliss!! Big big love to my Toasties @kate_samways @sammyjkerr and cuzins4lyf @philipjamolin @simmyyyy 

You both chose parts of John 15 for your ceremonies. ❤ Praying you always remember that your love for each other comes straight from the same Love that powers every good thing in this universe... that whenever you hear music that moves you, marvel at the mountains, feel the sunshine on your skin, ride the waves, or stop in awe or wonder, you remember that a spark of those beautiful things isn't anywhere as big and powerful as the spark that brought you to the one you chose to enjoy your days with. And that through every magical moment, big or small, joyful or sorrowful, that your love for each other remains powerful and complete. 🥂💕🥰💕❤
“Without God, we cannot. Without us, God will no “Without God, we cannot. Without us, God will not.” - St Augustine

Been reflecting about this one a lot over the past few weeks... about the agency we too often forfeit or conveniently forget when change demands effort and intention. We're invited to be co-creators, to be cooperators... but that in itself is both power and a responsibility (yep, just got all Spiderman on you, whoops) 😝.

I lettered this one while watching the morning surfers at Flynns Beach. The waves came in fast, strong and big that day. And the thing that kept popping into my head was the determination of the surf students as they made their way out. We can't control the waves... another power beyond us does that. But we do have to consider when we start kicking or when to jump on the board if we want to ride the waves. 

🌊
I made a thing! Finally unboxed and turned on the I made a thing! Finally unboxed and turned on the sewing machine I bought during the last lockdown. The first thing I did was “fix” a fitted sheet (by sewing a seam on the wrong side, but I mean it still fits on the bed so... It's technically fixed). And because I'm an impatient person, I jumped right into making a half-circle skirt with remnant fabric (thanks Google) and then stuffed it up by adding a pocket without really planning ahead. Because why would I even bother making clothes if they don't have pockets??

You know my love for imperfect things (the pocket kinda faces the wrong way and there's a random seam next to the pocket that makes it bunch up) 😂 but WHATEVER. It fits (*just*😝), the pocket is functional and I am wearing it today because I can. Lol. 

#WhatAmIEvenDoing #SewWhat
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