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You are here: Home / Faith / The 5 things I’m telling my kids after the US election

The 5 things I’m telling my kids after the US election

10 November, 2016 By Joy Adan 12 Comments

when it looks like the world is going to shit, the good guys yell “No!” and we fight back with everything that makes the world good. Not division, not hate, not violence; but unity, love and compassion.

Last night, Donald Trump was elected as the 45th President of the United States of America.

Like the rest of the world, I’m still unable to process this news. I thought 24 hours would be sufficient time for me to be able to overcome the disbelief and fear of having a man so incompetent, divisive, predatory, and unstable be the leader of anything, let alone one of the most powerful nations in the world.

Yet here we are.

Sorry ladies, not this time

I confess that I didn’t actually want to watch the election coverage yesterday. Months ago, when Trump was announced the Republican candidate, I started deliberately tuning out whenever the election was mentioned. It was all too much, like a joke that had gone too far. How is it that the USA’s first female presidential candidate could be up against such a inexperienced buffoon? For many, Hillary Clinton was far from an ideal candidate, but she was, at least, a strong one. And while we disagreed on critical moral issues like religious liberty and abortion, I respected her as a candidate for presidency. Which is more than I could ever say for Trump. To have Clinton campaigning against Trump was insulting. And most of the time, it was too painful to watch.

I know Clinton is not the saint that mainstream media portrayed her to be (anyone who believes otherwise is kidding themselves and has fallen for her well-oiled campaign machine). But she’s an intelligent woman with years of political experience and to watch her overcome so many challenges and work her way closer and closer to the presidency made me genuinely proud and excited for her. Regardless of whether or not you agreed with her, there’s no doubt her journey towards the White House was a symbol of how far women have come. Her loss was a blow to the millions of women who work their asses off only to have (white) male privilege waltz in and shit all over everything. I know men like Trump. I’ve worked for and with men like Trump. I’ve been abused by, insulted by, and hurt by men like Trump. I’ve watched as men like Trump have preyed on, used, bullied and pulled down other people, have created division and inflicted trauma – all with no guilt because they are narcissists, and no consequences because… well… in this world, having a penis gives you special privileges.

A win for Clinton would have given all of us hope that things have changed or at least can change. A win for Clinton would have confirmed the idea that you have to work hard for what you want, and that merit counts for something. I’d like to think I could tell my sons that you can’t become something as important as the President of the United States without any political experience whatsoever. But it turns out you can, if you are a white man with lots of money. I’d like to tell my sons that character matters, and those with good character are the real winners. But that is a hard message to preach when a man so vulgar he may as well be a caricature has just been elected to lead a country into “greatness”.

I can’t deny that my heart broke bit by bit every time a state on the map turned red.

I’ve read a few articles that predicted Trump’s win and it makes me sad that they were right (this one by Michael Moore made a compelling case and is probably exactly what happened). Yes, there were millions of middle-class Americans who were sick of the status quo, felt overlooked by Clinton and were therefore seduced by Trump’s movement. But I also think millions of Americans probably voted for Trump because they couldn’t stand the idea of the White House being run by a woman, let alone one so liberal.

Choices, choices, choices

To be honest, I’m relieved I didn’t have to place a vote. As a Catholic who believes passionately about the dignity and sanctity of human life, I don’t think I could have voted for either candidate in good conscience. I am Christian and am also against abortion, things Clinton privately tears down and passionately advocates for, respectively. But my skin would crawl every time I heard or read a comment that referred to Trump as the “pro-life” choice because there is nothing about what Trump says or does that genuinely respects the dignity of human life. There is nothing “pro-life” in the way he treats and speaks about women, people in the LBGT community, Muslims, Mexican-Americans, African-Americans – the list of people who he disrespected almost daily during his campaign is so long it really is just ridiculous. And so to think of even writing his name on a ballot paper makes my skin crawl too.

Yet millions of American did. Those who were sitting on the fence considered him the lesser of two evils. That a person like Donald Trump is considered the “better choice” for so many people is absolutely frightening.

It is confronting that so many around the world are unified in our despair. The only other moments this happens is after an act of terrorism. Now that’s saying something.

What now?

I’ve listened to and read more political commentary in the past 24 hours than I have for any election, even Australian ones. The more I reflect on the election, the more I think about what we could possibly take from what seems to be a very dire situation. Someone quite unstable is going to enter a position of incredible power, and there is a palpable uncertainty that anything could happen in the next four years. Economic collapse? War? I hope not, but it’s not implausible. The division has already begun – first violent protests, and then, just before I started writing this post, the announcement that Californians are calling for a secession from the US. Tonight I heard about my nephew in the US who didn’t want to go to school after the results were announced because kids were bullying him about deportation because he has a Mexican-Filipino heritage. No doubt the abuse towards any group that is different to who and what Trump is will only get worse. This makes me so sad. 

But I won’t lose hope.

By the end of Trump’s term, Mr 4 will be 8 years old and Mr Z will be a year away from starting school. When they’re old enough to read about this historic election, I’m hoping we’re able to look back and be proud of that fact humanity rose to the challenge and came out on top.

To my boys, I want you to know that when things like this happen, division and violence are never the answer. I want you to know that in every situation there is always space for hope, even ones like this when it feels like your world has turned upside down. Keep your chin up and look for opportunities to be better and make the world better. Even as a distant observer, I have learnt a lot from the candidates of this election. I am writing these down so both you and I can work towards making sure the same thing doesn’t ever go down again:

  • Treat everyone with respect, even people who don’t agree with or are not like you. If you ignore or disregard people who don’t agree with you, you’re the one who misses out in the end. And people who don’t respect others just because they’re different are most likely really insecure. This is all the more reason for you to show them what respect looks like, because they desperately need to see it in action and know what it feels like. No matter how vulgar someone’s behaviour is, don’t use this as an excuse to disrespect them. Don’t lower yourself to that level – you are better than that, and they are better than that. Model what “better” looks like. Set the benchmark.
  • Have candour without being callous. I think one of the reasons people found Trump more appealing than Clinton was because with Trump, what you saw was what you got. Yes, what what we saw/got was horrendous, but it was all out on the table. I don’t know if it’s because Clinton has spent so long in politics or because she seemed constantly under investigation, but despite “winning the popularity contest,” she was unable to win people’s trust. Something about her seemed disingenuous and deceiving and it turns out some people would rather vote for Trump’s certain poison than the risk of something potentially worse with Clinton. Authenticity and openness builds trust. But for the love of God, use candour to shine the light on truth and build people up, not tear people down.
  • Your voice counts. And when you’re old enough, your vote will count. A lot of people took to the streets to protest when they heard the election results, but it made me wonder how many of those protestors took to the streets to line up and vote when it actually mattered. Democracy is a great thing, and you’re a fool to waste that opportunity to make a difference. It is your duty to participate in political life.
  • Be discerning about what you see and read. Just because everyone around you is saying something, that doesn’t make it true.
  • Don’t ever sit idly by when you see something wrong – get up and fix it. Evil triumphs when good people do nothing. This starts with little things. It starts at home and at school. Call it out when you hear someone insulting another person. Break up that fight (or better yet, step in before the fight begins). Don’t just walk past or hope someone else will do the good. YOU do the good. DO NOT ignore bad shit and hope it will go away. DO NOT be passive when it comes to cultivating goodness. All evil needs to thrive is a whole bunch of people with good thoughts and no actions.

To my boys, know that even when it looks like the world is going to shit, the good guys yell “No!” and we fight back with everything that makes the world good. Not division, not hate, not violence; but unity, love and compassion. If we don’t or won’t do that, then people like Trump really do win. And that would suck.

To America, have hope. We are with you. This is not the end. 

 

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Joy Adan

I'm Joy. I'm a 30-something, storytelling, coffee-drinking, book-devouring, ocean-obsessed freelance writer, brush lettering enthusiast, speaker and content producer. You'll find some of my stories and art here, along with my advice about attempt at balancing the creative career + family life hustle.

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Ran the first in-person lettering workshop of 2022 Ran the first in-person lettering workshop of 2022 today! So so so blessed to introduce a group of incredible women (and their beautiful kids!) to @findingjoyau and the joy that comes with exercising our creativity. 💕

Oh yes... and I'm moving/switching up my Insta. You'll find me sharing more of my art/lettering/how-tos and all things making and creating over here 👉👉👉 @findingjoyau so give this lady a bit of love (and a follow). 

xoxoxo
Needing rest and recovery is a massive shame trigg Needing rest and recovery is a massive shame trigger for many people, myself included.

I've found this to be especially true within migrant families and communities I've worked with - rest was not an option for lots of people because it was literally a matter of work now to survive, otherwise you die.  

I know that the absence of that "threat to survival" puts me in a very privileged position. I also know that even though the pressure to survive at any cost might be gone, the expectation to overwork and overcommit still weighs heavily and still demands sacrifice - from women especially. Thankfully, I (and many in my generation) have the added privilege of better education - we now know that failure to rest when our bodies and minds need to rest leads to poorer long-term health outcomes.

So a few months ago I turned down opportunities to do amazing work with amazing companies. Instead, I decided to hit "pause" and put my health and my family first. The past 2-3 years have been a bit of a fiasco. I really had to make a call about where to spend my time and energy, and I knew that if I wanted to keep giving my best in anything - work, home or community - I needed time out before taking on new or additional challenges.  

It was (and still is) terrifying, and it took me a good few months to truly "switch off". Once I did I became so grateful that taking a break meant being able to slow down and breathe, to focus on home and health, to enjoy agenda-free days with my kids, to take the foot off the accelerator, to embrace creativity, connection and serving my community... you know, things that too often get chucked on the back burner. 

I share this because I want to normalise people taking a break when they need a break. It might just be a short break in a busy day or week, it might be a career break. Point is... we all need rest, and we should NEVER feel guilty for wanting some downtime or pausing to reprioritise, refocus or recover. 

No one else should get to determine what "success" or "productivity" looks like/means for you. 💕
Impromptu paint workshop with some little visitors Impromptu paint workshop with some little visitors today! Whipped out the watercolours and acrylics after lunch and just enjoyed some down time, playing with colour, experimenting with texture and stamping mint leaves... and discussing the fact pink is not an actual colour according to science (and then had to assure them that pink did still exist... But apparently it is just something our brains made up? What?!). 

Painting really is therapy for me. There's something primal and grounding about the activity that helps me enter a completely different space mentally and emotionally. And so it was nice to be able to offer this as a method of play and recreation (and to experience it myself).

Tip 1: Watercolours are a far less stressful way to introduce paint to little ones - find cheap non-toxic washable paint and don't stress about mixing all your colours - it's part of the fun. Embrace the mess. 
Tip 2: I have been reusing the same blue dollar store table cloth to protect our dining table for 4 years. We wipe it down with paper towels or baby wipes at the end of a painting session, and wrap it all up abd shake it off outside after a play dough session. It's getting a bit holey but it does the job. 
Tip 3: Use a clothes horse to peg up and dry paintings as kids finish them. It's pretty satisfying seeing all their pictures hanging up and shining in the sun.

🌞🖌🎨🙌🏽💕
To the woman wondering if she'll ever get through To the woman wondering if she'll ever get through her to-do list before the end of the day... you are enough. 

To the woman wondering if she's cleaning/working/playing/exercising/cuddling/learning/teaching/disciplining/guiding/supporting/giving/loving as much as she can/should... you are enough.

To the woman who can never keep up with messages and voicemails and always forgets to reply... you are enough. 

To the woman doubled over in pain because her body isn't agreeing with her and she can't access the support she needs... you are enough. 

To the woman who is run ragged... you are enough. 

To the woman who knows she shouldn't probably eat that/buy that/say that... you are enough. 

To the woman wondering if she should apply for the job when she doesn't meet all the criteria... you are enough. 

To the woman who wonders if her contribution to her home or her community will ever get the recognition it deserves... you are enough. 

To the woman who is tired of searching for a place where she is respected - not just for what she brings but who she is... you are enough. 

To the woman wishing days like this weren't so exhausting... you are enough. 

To the woman who fears (or has been told) she is intimidating (instead of confident), outspoken (instead of articulate), too soft (instead of empathetic), power-hungry (instead of hard-working), lazy (instead of balanced)... you are enough. 

To the woman wondering what her worth is when so many are seen, recognised, paid and promoted before she is... you are enough. 

To the woman feeling uncertain, afraid, exhausted, frustrated, alone, restless... you are enough. 

To the woman who hopes and works hard for a better world for the future, wondering if we'll ever get there... you are enough. 

The world needs you, whether you're ready for battle or ready for rest. The world needs you, whether you're certain or still seeking. The world needs you as you are, because you are unique and irreplaceable. You are worth celebrating, today and everyday. 

You are enough. 

--- Tag a sister who needs reminding. ❤ xoxo

#iwd2022 #internationalwomensday #sisterhood
Yesterday marked the start of the Lenten season fo Yesterday marked the start of the Lenten season for millions of Catholics around the world. The road to our usual church was blocked yesterday due to floodwater, but thankfully some the rain eased and I could make it to morning Mass today. 

This week the skies are heavy, as are the hearts of many who have lost their homes and their peace - whether due to war or natural disaster. And so I pray. I pray because I know I need to ask for God's grace and mercy - I know I am so small and unable... but when He guides me I can see more clearly where to serve, how to help, where to channel my energy, time and resources... 

When it's all too much and I am unsure, this is the place I can return... knowing that the time I spend in His presence empowers me in a way no human eye can see.

If there is something you would like me to pray for, especially this Lent, let me know (you can shoot me a message too), and I'll bring it to our Father with love. ❤❤

#Lent #Lent2022
Went to Mass this morning after a very restless ni Went to Mass this morning after a very restless night. The Gospel was about a man who had brought his child to the disciples asking them to heal the child from convulsions that would often put him in physical danger. The disciples were unable. Here's part of the the conversation Jesus had with the father: 

"Jesus asked the father, 'How long has this been happening to him?' 

'From childhood,' he replied 'and it has often thrown him into the fire and into the water, in order to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have pity on us and help us.' 

'If you can?' retorted Jesus. 'Everything is possible for anyone who has faith.' 

Immediately the father of the boy cried out, 'I do have faith. Help the little faith I have!'" For the full Gospel, see Mark 9:14-29

Yes, this Gospel is a reminder that anything - and everything - is possible for anyone who has faith. But, as Fr Redmond pointed out this morning, it's also about believing that our faith has the ability and opportunity to grow. Faith isn't a one-off grace or gift we get once. It's a seed that is planted, it is something we can nourish and nurture. It is something that can wane when challenged or ignored. 

Simply put, faith is something we shouldn't take for granted. Faith required prayer, action and desire on our part.

That exclamation from a father desperate to do whatever he can to save his son is a prayer. It is a cry for help to God, asking him to increase and strengthen his faith. "Help the little faith I have!" he pleads. 

O Lord, that I may be humble enough to come to you and request the same when my faith is too small and I put limits on your grace. Help the little faith I have.

ID 1: An open page of a dot grid journal. The words “I have faith. Help the little faith I have” are lettered in pink ink. A pink Pentel Brush Sign Pen lies on an angle in top right corner. 

ID2: A golden tabernacle is in the centre of the frame. On either side are embroidered images from Bible stories.

.

.

.

#FindingJoy #JoyAdanWrites #PursuitOfJoy #PerfectlyImperfect #PracticeMakesProgress #CalledToCreate #CreativePractice #CreativeEntrepreneur #CatholicCreative #BibleLettering #Journal
Consider this permission to slow down. ❤ ID: Op Consider this permission to slow down. ❤

ID: Open page of a notebook with lilac hand-lettering that says “Don't rush to the urgent at the expense of the important”. A lilac @pentel_australia brush sign pen lies on top the page beside the writing.
I reckon this is one of my favourite lines in “S I reckon this is one of my favourite lines in “Surface Pressure”. It's one of many truths in the song, but I love this one in particular because people who know their worth & dignity tend to light up the room. 😉

Meanwhile, we've just ended 1 week of iso.. which we spent listening to the @encantomovie soundtrack on repeat and playing Super Mario and table tennis for hours on end. Thankfully, COVID symptoms were mild and shortlived, the boys maintained good spirits, and I managed to squeeze in painting as down-time over the weekend while everyone else slept. Now to declutter my desk and get back to business.......

ID: An open page dot grid notebook lies on a wooden desk. The left page is painted with blue, gold, brown and green watercolour flowers around the border. In the centre is navy blue lettering, with the words “I move mountains, I move churches, and I glow coz I know what my worth is.”

#ink #handwriting #catholiccreatives #qotd #pentelbrushpen
Flashback to this nugget of wisdom. ❤ Wherever y Flashback to this nugget of wisdom. ❤ Wherever you are, whoever you are, may you rest in the knowledge that not only are you made to love others, you are made to receive and worthy of being loved also. 

Image: Framed image of the quote “Love is, therefore, the fundamental vocation of every human being. - St John Paul II - Familiaris Consortio” lettered in blue foil and sitting on a wooden shelf surrounded by green plants. 

#LoveIs #Vocation #Calling
#StValentinesDay
Have had the best kind of whirlwind week of weddin Have had the best kind of whirlwind week of wedding bliss!! Big big love to my Toasties @kate_samways @sammyjkerr and cuzins4lyf @philipjamolin @simmyyyy 

You both chose parts of John 15 for your ceremonies. ❤ Praying you always remember that your love for each other comes straight from the same Love that powers every good thing in this universe... that whenever you hear music that moves you, marvel at the mountains, feel the sunshine on your skin, ride the waves, or stop in awe or wonder, you remember that a spark of those beautiful things isn't anywhere as big and powerful as the spark that brought you to the one you chose to enjoy your days with. And that through every magical moment, big or small, joyful or sorrowful, that your love for each other remains powerful and complete. 🥂💕🥰💕❤
“Without God, we cannot. Without us, God will no “Without God, we cannot. Without us, God will not.” - St Augustine

Been reflecting about this one a lot over the past few weeks... about the agency we too often forfeit or conveniently forget when change demands effort and intention. We're invited to be co-creators, to be cooperators... but that in itself is both power and a responsibility (yep, just got all Spiderman on you, whoops) 😝.

I lettered this one while watching the morning surfers at Flynns Beach. The waves came in fast, strong and big that day. And the thing that kept popping into my head was the determination of the surf students as they made their way out. We can't control the waves... another power beyond us does that. But we do have to consider when we start kicking or when to jump on the board if we want to ride the waves. 

🌊
I made a thing! Finally unboxed and turned on the I made a thing! Finally unboxed and turned on the sewing machine I bought during the last lockdown. The first thing I did was “fix” a fitted sheet (by sewing a seam on the wrong side, but I mean it still fits on the bed so... It's technically fixed). And because I'm an impatient person, I jumped right into making a half-circle skirt with remnant fabric (thanks Google) and then stuffed it up by adding a pocket without really planning ahead. Because why would I even bother making clothes if they don't have pockets??

You know my love for imperfect things (the pocket kinda faces the wrong way and there's a random seam next to the pocket that makes it bunch up) 😂 but WHATEVER. It fits (*just*😝), the pocket is functional and I am wearing it today because I can. Lol. 

#WhatAmIEvenDoing #SewWhat
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