We can hardly believe it – that point, that ‘halfway’ mark through the first year of having our first baby.
We are here!
We made it!
And we are still smiling.. Actually.. We’re beaming!
I remember thinking back to when I was pregnant, pottering around in her beautiful nursery, dreaming of the little girl that would make residence in here & thinking.. what will she be like?
Well, our girl has definitely made herself a residence in our lives & we couldn’t be happier.
She has the most beautiful spirit, personality & character.
She has white blonde hair with big blue eyes & lashes to die for.
She is happy, joyful, content, cheeky, sassy, determined, cheerful, wise, observant, extraverted, affectionate & oh so loving.
I know you may be thinking, how can you tell all of this? She’s only 6 months old?
Trust me, we can see it all, very clearly.
We are so excited to continue to watch her blossom into the little girl God created her & knows her to be.
So what has the first 6 months been like?
Well, there’s been some serious ups & some serious downs.
Let’s halve it for a minute…
The first 3 months, which you would’ve heard about briefly in my previous pieces, were hard to say the least.
They tested us emotionally, physically & mentally in ways we didn’t know possible.
But it strengthened our marriage & our reliance on God which is always a plus.
And you know what?
Sophie has seriously helped us through!
It’s like she was always ready to throw us that cheeky smile with her eyes that sparkle whenever we needed it most, it’s like she knew & would tell me “It’s okay Mumma, I’m here & I love you”
So we had complications from day dot.
7 days after having Sophie (only been at home 4 days) I got extremely sick & re-admitted back into hospital with an internal infection that may have required surgery. I was anxious, overwhelmed & exhausted. The last thing in the world I wanted was to endure through post surgery recovery on top of the postpartum recovery that I was already experiencing. But I am so thankful I didn’t end up needing the surgery as the antibiotics did what they do best & I was out within the next couple of days.
I had to be away from Sophie & express my milk because of all the testing I was being put through, which was so emotionally taxing considering she was so new & I wanted to be by her side 24/7 (nothing’s changed!)
But I cannot express how grateful I am to have the most amazing husband that I do, he really stepped up to be everything he needed to be for Sophie in those early days, without a manual or a ‘how to father’ book, his instincts kicked in to care for his daughter, and that’s exactly what he did.
The two of them now have a very special bond from all those days & nights spent together.
And as much as I hated the situation at the time, in retrospect, I’m so grateful because I now see what they have between them as Father & Daughter & it makes it all worth it.
(Side note: A HUGE shoutout to my Mumma for being my rock through my whole life but especially those months – and my dad, you always have been & continue to be my hero)
From here on in, I had to be on antibiotics so much I felt like my stomach was beginning to give up on life.
Breast feeding became awful, painful & the whole fight to keep pushing through took me into a black hole of depression that was consuming me to quickly to really realise it was happening. (read more about that here)
But once I came to the realisation that it was more important for my Sophie to be healthy & happy then my own ‘ideals’ to be accomplished, breast feeding was out!
It was like the second we stopped breast feeding Soph, she had less stress, less anxiety & total freedom.
We started to see her little personality blossom, her face & body language changed to be far more relaxed, she began putting on healthy amounts of weight, and the list could go on.
Let’s just say it was a REALLY good decision, even though it was a REALLY hard one to make.
Now we could FINALLY get out of the house!
We could go on walks, go for coffee with friends, go for a swim, watch Peppa Pig & just have quality time together. It was like a beautiful cool, refreshing breeze had swept through our lives.
And that breeze also, thankfully, blew away my trauma ‘fog’.
As you may have read in my post linked above, there was a bigger reason my trauma was released off my life, but another part of it was that of purely letting go of an ideal & grasping my reality.
I know a lot of people recover quicker but maybe my body is just a slow learner! (no, no, labour was baaaad)
Mostly I am done!
But I did have some abdominal separation (4cm) which is a bit more than the normal so unfortunately requires some effort/rehab to regain my core strength & pelvic floor muscles (what are those?) which as a dancer I DEFINITELY need. So in my mind on repeat is the hit ‘Lucy! Do your exercises!’, trying to find that speck of self discipline to do the boring exercises that feel like are doing nothing but are actually doing everything.
I will be so glad to get my normal stomach back & get rid of the ‘speed bumps’ I currently look down at. (any other ab separation Mumma’s out there feel me?)
As much as I would love to continue to be a stay at home mum at this time in our lives, we have decided that I will go back into the workforce for awhile until we decide to have another baby so we can set ourselves up for our future!
And then I’m kicking back (just kidding) and raising my kids at home once we feel it to be the best time for our family.
So wish me luck! #workingmummalife
And again, hail to all the mum’s who do it alone, with full-time work & no assistance.
You really are our modern day heroes. 100%.
We are blessed that our girl will be with her Grandparents when I’m at work as we much prefer this than being in care (nothing wrong with it what so ever, but of course, would rather her with family while she’s so little)
Then the rest of the week we will be my favourite, my Sophie days….
Morning walks in the sunshine, swims at the pool/beach, coffee with Aunty & Boomy (her cousin – 6wks apart), walking around the shops chatting, reading her favourite books, picnics on the grass, cuddles on the couch, playtime with daddy, giggles in the bath, chasing mummy & daddy up the stairs, these are just a few of our favourite things to do.
Here’s to the next 6 months! On our way to toddler life!
Thanks for listening.
I hope everyone has had a great week & enjoys the next one ahead.
Every day is a new opportunity to live your dreams, so what are you waiting for?